Why Do I Get Sad at Night?

What It Means and 3 Ways To Cope

Why Do I Get Sad at Night?

It’s 2 AM and it's hitting you right now — that wave of sadness and depression that only seems to happen at night.

It's pitch black, the loneliness is creeping in, and the night can feel a little scary. And while you know that you'll wake up feeling happier, you're sick of being trapped inside your head every night.

So why do you get sad at night, and will it last forever?

Why Am I Sad At Night?

First, it's important to remember that you’re not alone in this. Many people who feel depressed at night often find themselves wrapped in a heavy blanket of fear and sadness, crying themselves to sleep and sinking into feelings of self-hate, helplessness, and a desire to disappear.

Several factors can contribute to why your mind may tend to spiral when the world goes quiet:

You Don’t Have Distractions at Night

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The busyness of the day keeps your mind occupied. Work, school, learning, socializing, and even the noise of the outside world can act as useful distractions. 

But at night? The silence allows your thoughts to take over because you aren't necessarily doing anything productive. No distractions, no noise, no hustle — just the endless loop of overthinking.

You may start to ruminate on what went wrong that day, or last week, or last year - replaying conversations and regrets over and over. That’s when feelings of sadness or anxiety may hit the hardest.

You May Need More Vitamin D

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Have you ever wondered why you feel worse when the sun sets?

Our bodies crave sunlight, and studies suggest that a lack of it can lead to a vitamin D deficiency, which is linked to feelings of sadness and even depression. 

If your days are spent mostly indoors or you primarily work in the evening, you might be feeling this effect at night when there’s no natural light to boost your mood.

To combat this, many people turn to light therapy, which mimics natural sunlight and helps regulate your circadian rhythm.

Here is one of my favorite light therapy lamps!

You can also try spending more time outside during the day to soak up those rays, even if it’s just a quick 10-minute walk. This exposure can boost vitamin D levels, alleviating feelings associated with seasonal affective disorder (SAD).

I also recommend taking a high-quality Vitamin D3 supplement 💊

This is the one I regularly suggest to my patients.

🚨 It's important to get your Vitamin D levels checked every 3-6 months while taking a Vitamin D supplement, because toxicity can occur if you take too much Vitamin D.

You’re Feeling Unfulfilled

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You might find yourself lying alone in bed, wishing for a significant other. However, this feeling often extends beyond just being single; it may reflect a deeper sense of disenchantment with life.

Because right now, someone else is wide awake reading this at 2 AM while their significant other, kids, and the dog are all sound asleep nearby.

They also feel unfulfilled. After reminiscing about carefree nights spent going out with friends, they’re longing for a time before adulthood’s responsibilities took over.

Or maybe you're perfectly happy being single or married. You might be up dreading work on Monday (the Sunday scaries), feeling that pit in your stomach as you inwardly wince thinking about another hectic workweek.

Resentment can build throughout the day, leading to the nightly cycle of uncomfortable, negative thoughts.

Whether it's the absence of a partner, a longing for past connections, or the burden of a job you dislike, that sense of dissatisfaction can feel very heavy. 

You long for a connection to something — a feeling, a memory, or the person you used to be. 

RELATED: Generativity vs Stagnation: How It Can Negatively Affect 30-65 Year Olds

What Does it Mean When You're Only Sad at Night? 🌓

For many, the reason you feel sad at night may be linked to conditions like depression, ADHD, anxiety, or chronic insomnia. Others might experience it due to stress, unhealthy habits, or how your body transitions from day to night.

Here's a breakdown of some possible causes:

1. Circadian Rhythm Disruptions

Everyone has their own circadian rhythm, which is your body's natural sleep-wake cycle. It’s influenced by genetics, lifestyle, and external factors, such as light exposure.

When your circadian rhythm is disrupted, your mood can change, too. This disruption can lead to:

  • Hormonal Changes: Disruptions can affect serotonin and melatonin production, leading to sadness and interrupted sleep.
  • Poor Sleep Quality: Circadian disturbances can result in poor sleep, which can increase irritability and mood instability.
  • Increased Stress Response: Disruptions heighten stress responses, elevating cortisol levels, and contributing to anxiety and depression.

2. You’re a Night Owl

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There are 3 “chronotypes” that make up circadian rhythms:

1. Morning Lark/Early Bird

2. Night Owl

3. Hummingbird

Your chronotype is your “internal clock” or your natural preference for being active during certain times of the day (or night).

If you identify as a "night owl," your internal clock can make you more vulnerable to late-night emotions. Here’s why:

  • Social Mismatches: Night owls often struggle to align their schedules with societal norms, leading to feelings of isolation and potentially contributing to Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome (DSPS).
  • Increased Depression: One study found that women who identified as “night owls” had a 6% higher risk of developing depression. This may be because of the lack of exposure to natural light (and Vitamin D) or the heightened feelings of loneliness that come from late-night racing thoughts with no one to talk to.

3. Mental Health Concerns

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Conditions like Depression, Anxiety, and ADHD can exacerbate feelings of sadness at night. Nighttime offers a quieter space where your brain can finally process unresolved emotions, leading to:

  • Depression: If you're dealing with depression, night is when your brain's default mode network (DMN) kicks in, and the feelings you've been pushing aside all day bubble up to the surface. This can make it seem like depression only appears at night, but it’s likely been lingering in the background all day. This specific pattern may indicate high-functioning depression, where you can "handle" your day but feel overwhelmed at night.
  • ADHD: Similarly, ADHD can disrupt your circadian rhythm, making nighttime feel like "prime time" for racing thoughts. Those with ADHD frequently hyper-focus in the evening, making it difficult to wind down. With fewer distractions at night, overwhelming thoughts can lead to feelings of sadness.

4. Daily Habits and Stress Levels

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Daily routines and habits can significantly impact how you feel at night. Many of us struggle with these aspects in our daily lives:

  • Exposure to Light: If you find yourself surrounded by artificial light all day, it may be contributing to your negative mood. This is especially true for blue lights (like the ones on your phone and computer), as they can lead to low melatonin and chronic sleep deprivation, which can affect your mental health
  • Eating Patterns: Have you seen a Snickers commercial? It highlights how we don’t “act like ourselves” when we’re hungry, reminding us that our eating habits can significantly impact our moods. Irregular and unhealthy eating patterns can lead to energy crashes and irritability at night.
  • Stress: Daily stressors can linger into the night, manifesting as overwhelming thoughts when you have time to reflect on the day. It’s normal to feel this way but when it disrupts your sleep and mood, it’s important to take action so you can start feeling better.

3 Ways To Fix Nighttime Loneliness

Stress and loneliness often pile up at night because it’s when you may lack a clear routine or any meaningful distractions. 

If you find yourself feeling depressed at night, it’s important to find ways to counteract this heaviness.

By easing into simple practices that can distract and engage your mind, you can transform your evening experience into a time that you can finally enjoy — and even find solace in:

1. Distract Your Mind

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When you're feeling sad at night, it's natural for your thoughts to spiral. The best thing you can do in these moments is to recreate those daytime distractions that keep your mind occupied.

Here are a few ideas:

  • Journaling or daydreaming at night can provide your brain with a boost of dopamine (the chemical that signals reward and pleasure), which can help keep depression at bay.
  • Watching a nighttime TV show by yourself can sometimes feel lonely, but it doesn't have to. If you let the silence get to you, it can amplify those feelings of isolation. But if you dive into the show and get lost in the characters—laughing at their jokes and relating to their struggles—you might just find a good measure of comfort and company in their stories. It's all about how you look at it; whether you see it as a lonely time or a chance to connect (even if it's just with some fictional friends).
  • Reciting affirmations out loud (or through journaling) may feel silly at first, but studies show that affirmations can activate brain areas linked to positive feelings, like the ventral striatum and ventromedial prefrontal cortex. This activation not only boosts self-worth but it is also associated with behavior changes!
  • Playing sound when lying in bed can help distract your mind from negative thoughts. Many have found solace in listening to ASMR videos on YouTube, playing music, listening to an Audible book, or simply turning on a white noise machine (I like this one). Find what works for you!

2. Use Supplements to Help You Fall Asleep

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While watching TV or journaling can be great distractions, they might not always help you unwind before bed. 

I often suggest trying supplements to help you relax at night. Here are some of my top recommendations:

  • Pure Encapsulations Glycine: Glycine is an amino acid that also serves as a calming neurotransmitter in the brain. Glycine promotes relaxation by supporting the parasympathetic nervous system and lowering levels of the stress hormone cortisol.
  • Pure Encapsulations L-Theanine: L-theanine is a calming amino acid that increases alpha brain waves, which are associated with relaxation. It also boosts levels of GABA, a calming neurotransmitter.

⛔️ It's important to consult a healthcare provider before starting any new supplements to ensure that they don't interact with your current medication regimen.

Here are my favorite Doctor-Approved Supplements and Products

3. Work with Your Chronotype

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If you’re a night owl, you might find that embracing your natural rhythms can lead to a more fulfilling nighttime experience. 

While this approach may not resonate with everyone, engaging in activities that keep you productive can combat those evening blues and create a sense of purpose.

Here are some options to consider:

  • Freelancing or Remote Work: If you thrive at night, consider freelance gigs or remote positions that allow you to set your own hours.
  • Creative Pursuits: Use the quiet of the night to dive into hobbies like writing, painting, or playing music. Engaging in these activities can be a great emotional outlet while transforming lonely hours into something more fulfilling.
  • Volunteering: Look for organizations that need help during the evenings. Contributing to a cause can bring fulfillment and distract from negative feelings.
  • Online Courses: Learning something new can stimulate your mind and help you connect with others. Many courses are available online and can fit into your nighttime schedule.

When These Don't Work

If you notice your depression worsening in the evenings or you find yourself grappling with thoughts of self-harm, please don't hesitate to reach out for help by calling the 988 Lifeline (U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline), which is available 24/7/365.

For international assistance, visit befrienders.org to find a crisis hotline in your area. Services are available in Hindi, Danish, Swahili, Dutch, Lithuanian, Japanese, and many other languages.

When you call, you'll speak with a trained volunteer who understands what you're going through. Best of all, this support is free and designed to help anyone in distress without any cost.

It's normal to feel a bit nervous when calling into a hotline for the first time. Just share that you're struggling. The trained volunteer will listen without judgment and help you feel less alone. They may also provide you with coping strategies that you can use to feel some relief.

If you're unsure how to start the conversation, here are some phrases to consider:

  • "I've been feeling really down lately, especially in the evenings."
  • "I've been struggling with some disturbing thoughts at night, and it's getting overwhelming."
  • "I need someone to talk to because I'm feeling pretty low after dark for some reason."
  • "I'm having a hard time at night and just need someone to talk to right now. 
  • "I don't know what to say or how to explain it, but I feel awful right now. Can you ask me some questions?"
  • "I've noticed that I feel worse in the evenings, and I'm not sure what to do."

These phrases focus on your general experience rather than specific details, making it easier to open up without feeling overly exposed.

RELATED: The Advantages of Seeing an Online Psychiatrist

Remember, it’s not uncommon to feel sad at night. You're not alone, and you don't have to stay stuck in this cycle forever. 

Whether it's reaching out for support, making small changes to your daily routine, or simply giving yourself grace, there are always ways to cope. 

And when you're ready to talk to a professional, I’m here for you.

I welcome you to reach out to me to learn how I can help you feel like yourself again.

It might be dark right now, but the sun always comes up.🌤️ 😊 💖 🌦️

You Deserve To Feel Happier 🌞

Sheenie Ambardar, MD is a Los Angeles-based Depression Treatment Specialist who sees patients throughout California and New York via telehealth. Dr. Ambardar specializes in the diagnosis and treatment of adult men and women with Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar Disorder, ADHD, OCD, Binge-Eating Disorder, and a host of other common mental health concerns.
Are you experiencing any of these conditions? Integrative psychiatry may be the solution you need. At The Happiness Psychiatrist®, we address the root causes of these issues—and many more—as well as give you the tools to build a fuller, happier life.